Poetry submitted by Sarah on Monday, March 03, 2003 at 12:39PM :

Questions

Did you heart fight your mind when you decided to die?
Did your mind tell your heart all its reasons why?
Did your heart understand the pain your body was in?
Did your mind realize you’d lose your family and friends?

Who did you think of when you made that fateful leap?
Who did you picture when you found your release?
Who saw you jump and who saw you land?
Who thought of them? Not you, my friend.

What made dying move from thought to reality?
What made your choice gain its certainty?
What did you say to convince yourself to die?
What were the reasons, were some of them lies?

Where were you at when you made the choice?
Where were you at when your thoughts found their voice?
Where did you pen your final words to my mother?
Where did we fit in, your son and your daughter?

When did you decide to leave her alone?
When did you decide it was time to go home?
When did God meet you on your journey to death?
When did He say you could finally have rest?

Why did you pick a Tuesday morning?
Why did you give no signs, a warning?
Why did you lie about the illnesses you had?
Why did you hide your tormenting head?

How did you go from living to dead without pause?
How did you feel; were you dedicated to your cause?
How did you jump with the knowledge you couldn’t go back?
How did you die with all the good-byes that you lacked?

So many questions that will never be answered.
So many answers that bring about more questions.
Some I have answered for I believe they are right.
Others continue with my mind to fight.

Did you think tell me good-bye, Daddy? Yes, Pumpkin.
Who is supposed to take your place, Daddy? No one.
What could I have done different, Daddy? Nothing.
Where do I go from here, Daddy? You must go on.
When does the pain stop, Daddy? Never…it just gets easier to bear.
Why did you leave me, Daddy? I didn’t, I am always with you.
How do I survive without you, Daddy? You will, I promise.

January 29, 2003