Poetry submitted by Janine Chadbourne on Thursday, July 07, 2005 at 11:01PM :

If You knew
By Janine Chadbourne
4/22/2005

If you knew how much I loved you,
You would still be here today.
If you knew how much I loved you,
You would have chose to stay.
I remember the places we went, things that we did,
and it makes me miss you so much,
I can still fell the passion that burned in your touch.
You were so smart, with so much to live for,
instead one decision, one bullet, opened deaths door.
I never thought you'd committ suicide,
I thought you had more sense than pride.
If you knew how much I loved you,
You would still be here today.
You would know I'd never leave you,
no matter what I say.

I will not be bitter about how it ended that night,
but you killed all our hopes & dreams because of one fight.
If you knew how much I loved you,
You would still be here today
And you'd realize that you took a part of me with you
When you left that fateful day.

Your son, who grows more & more like you every day,
When he asks me why, I don't know what to say.
He tries to be be strong, but he hurts deep inside,
and I see the tears that he tries to hide.
If you knew how much he loved you
You would still be here today.

I miss you more than I can ever explain,
And my love for you will always remain.
Now when I see a hawk soaring in the Arizona sky
I think of you and wonder why.
Like the hawk in flight, you are now free from your troubled past,
Those haunting memories will lie in peace at last.
But if you knew how much I loved you,
You would still be here today.